Friday, May 12, 2006

What Planet Have You Been On?

Okay, I watch Oprah sometimes....I'm a stay at home's expected. I will not be watching her show again any time soon after this past Tuesday. It was all about marriage and how it goes wrong for women. I only made it through the first guest. Lance Armstrong's ex-wife: Kristin Armstrong.

I was thoroughly disgusted by what she had to say. How she tried to be the "perfect" wife and "lost herself" in the marriage.

This part of the interview was the point where I turned it off.

"What is the greatest conspiracy in modern history? Kristin says it's not Watergate or the assassination of John F. Kennedy—it's marriage."I think a conspiracy is anything that's shrouded in silence," she says. "I think women are awesome communicators. So why don't women talk to women about what it's going to take to not just make [marriage] work but make it great?"

Kristin says that in order to have a healthy marriage, husbands and wives have to find a balance between pleasing their partner and staying true to themselves.
"There isn't anything wrong with making sacrifices and working together. But I think as long as each person can hold onto themselves, and it's a mutual experience of growth—that's the beautiful part. That's the point."

Oprah says she never walked down the aisle because she didn't want to sacrifice herself and her feelings for a man. "I was in tears when I read [Kristin's article] because this is why I never got married," she says. "I just wanted to always be myself.""

Excuse me? We (women) don't communicate about marriage? Where was your mother? Where was your grandmother? Where were your friends who were married?????The women I know talk about their marriages all the time, sometimes too much. That is where I learned what makes a good wife and mother. Given, not everyone has a good role model....I was lucky. But you had to have had friends!! And lost yourself? I see you didn't lose yourself enough to go back to your maiden name. HA! What a joke. Sounds to me like someone is trying to push their book. And Oprah...I thought you were a strong woman. I guess I was wrong. Why can't you be yourself and be married as well? Your husband is supposed to compliment you and make you more...complete you.

I understand about failed marriages, I had a failed marriage. We made each other miserable, but not once did I feel like I was giving up my identity for him. I don't feel like I gave up my identity for my husband now. Just like you, Kristin: I gave up my job, sold my car, left my family, and moved far away from everything I had ever known with my new husband. You know what though, I am still me.

Unfortunately my husband is addicted to Dr. Laura. If you listen to her, she has some excellent suggestions on how to maintain an awesome marriage. I just read her book "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands". I recommend it to any woman who is married, or getting married. I thought it was a great insight into how men think and how we women think. The great thing about it was that I was already doing most of the things she says a lot of women forget to do.

I just thought she was rather pathetic trying to say what she (Kristin) thinks makes a great marriage when she just fell flat in hers. Go pander your wares to someone else girl, this happily married woman ain't buying.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I miss you!! We need to chat again soonish.