Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Part of a Story

I've put a few poems I've written here on the ole blog, but I've yet to post any of my prose, besides my basic rambling. One of the things I always worry about when I'm writing is if I am being descriptive enough. Can a person reading what I've written get a good mental picture. I really struggle with this at times and it has caused me to discard many a page.

Tonight, I am going to post for your reading enjoyment, a section of a sci fi/ horror type story that I started, but haven't gone very far. Maybe one chapter is finished. Might make it into an interesting short story some day. I think this is probably a pretty good descriptive paragraph. Don't laugh at me, cause it's about a monster. Hee hee!

As if this mental picture isn't enough, I reach behind me and feel the thickness of the door jamb. My new reality is slowly sinking in. For some yet unknown reason, I'm crouching in this corner. Wondering why, I look around. It's hard to really focus on anything. The halls are painted dark and flourescent lights are overhead. They are extremely dim and doing that annoying flickering thing, which drives me nuts. I can hear the clicking and humming of them going off and on. Then I realize I'm not alone.

Standing in front of me is a monster. It is enormous. Maybe it looks that way because I'm hunched down in fear, or maybe it's just that big. Its skin is very smooth, very glossy. It's flesh colored, but not exactly. It looks like someone who hasn't seen the light of the sun in a long time. There are also streaks of red covering its entire body, like its blood vessels are on the wrong side. I can't see any eyes, but I can't help but notice the mouth. I'm reminded of the alligators in the zoo. There are so many teeth. Its arms and legs are disproportionate to its body, they are long, thin, and end in claws. I guess it balances by the long segmented tail, which is whipping back and forth behind it.

That's all you get cause I think the rest of the story is kind of dumb still. It needs a lot of work.

1 comment:

ian said...

Hey LeeAndra -

I'd be happy to give you some specific feedback on your writing. If you want to email it to me, I'll cheerfully look over it. Use the email on my website (www.ianthealy.com).

Ian