Boring crap today...

So, I've been feeling pretty good the past few days... sleep deprived but good. I'm soooo ready to get out of Ohio and back in Arkansas. The girls have been good this week. Kenzie has been waking up at night again, and Lyanna has been fussy at night too. I am running on about 4 hours of sleep a night, which it horrible for me. I need a good 8 now. Must be "old age".

We are having Christmas with Brad's family here tomorrow night. It should be a good time. Kenzie is going to LOVE it! I can't wait for her to see what we got her.

I'm at a loss for what to talk about today. Boring boring boring....

Christmas is coming, Yay Yay yay! I can't wait to see my family. I swear my brother calls me every day with the countdown...10 more days, 6 more days, 3 more days..hee hee. I think he is more excited about it than me.

Bah Humbug

Yeah, yeah, it's Christmas..... 11 days til and counting. I'm just not digging it yet. I have been stuck in the house with two sick babies for too long. BLEH! I went out yesterday morning and and Tuesday afternoon shopping some....but I'm still sick as well and got too hot and had to cut it short. I did get my husbands gift taken care of. It is going to be totally kick ass and he is going to LOVE it.

My temper is so short right now...the babies do drive me nuts.

Being Sick Sucks

Well, it has been a tough couple of weeks.... since Thanksgiving we have all been sick. I did manage to get out of the house Friday before last. Brad, Steve, and I all went out for sushi. It was fun, Steve had never had sushi before and needless to say I don't think he'll ever have it again. He literally turned green and I thought he was going to puke all over the table. Hilarious!!

That was it for going out though. Been sick myself ever since. Both babies and I have bronchitis and upper respiratory infections. It sucks!!!!!!! We have all been to the doctor and have all been on some hard core cough medicine. I just hate seeing the girls sick.

I am kinda bummed out cause we haven't been able to do much Christmas shopping at all. We still have everyone in the family to shop for. We have the girls' presents pretty much done. It's kind of hard there too. What do we get for the lil baby? She already has the toys we bought for Kenzie last year that are just fine for her...this is going to be a problem later I'm beginning to see. We're going to have to buy two of everything -- like having twins. Oh boy! Things to look forward to.

I want to get a picture of the girls with Santa...haven't been able to do that either. Ugh..what a crappy time to be sick.

Losing it Mom Style

I totally lost it today. I don't know if I am PMSing, or this is part of my post partem problems or what the hell it is. Brad came home from work and I was just not being nice. The babies were driving me crazy. Kenzie is so sick and congested and needy and then Lyanna would not lay down, she wanted to be held continuously. I was tired of having babies clinging to me all day and I was sick of kids shows on t.v. I didn't want to take care of babies anymore today, I just wanted to go and hide out and not hear anything that had to do with babies, or kids. I didn't want to change another diaper, I didn't want to pop out the boob again. I just wanted to be by myself.

I'm still feeling real anxious, tense, flighty. It's weird...cause I can tell when I'm doing it but I have a hard time stopping how I'm acting. I think I need a mom break. The last time I got out of the house without kids was three weeks ago?????? No wonder I'm freaking out. I need a break. It's hard though cause Lyanna still breast feeds and she gets real cranky sometimes if you try to feed her with a bottle. Being a mom is hard work...I don't care what anyone says. If they say it's easy they can kiss my ass. I think it's time to start weaning Lyanna to formula though. I think it will help me with my anxiety/hormone problems. AND it will allow me some more freedom than I already have....anyway...today has sucked mostly. I love my babies and my husband sometimes they just drive me nuts. I'm glad the day is over.

Stupid Parent Tricks

Okay so my husband and I have decided we are awful parents. We have video camera that we can download the video onto the computer and make DVD's from the smaller clips. Since I have been pregnant for TWO YEARS I haven't really been up to doing all the movie making magic.

For some reason I am the one who had become in charge of all the pictures and movies... I send the photos off to be developed, I download the video, I make the DVD's.... but since I hadn't downloaded any of clips no DVD's have been made since LAST Thanksgiving..sheesh.

I wanted to watch the video clips of Lyanna's birth again...went looking for the small cd that goes in the camera and couldn't find it... asked hubby.... He says, that clip is on the computer you dumped it already. Now how in the hell he would know what I dumped on the computer and what I haven't is beyond me. I knew I hadn't done that because I hadn't done anything since LAST Thanksgiving. He sits down at the computer and desperately looks for anything having to do with our second daughters birth..thank God we have a few pictures. They aren't there, I knew they weren't there... SO>>>>>>>

we don't have the video from Lyanna's birth and we don't have Kenzie's first birthday. What the hell... we are terrible parents. The video was erased... Brad erased them when he filmed Halloween. He feels bad cause he is the one who erased them, I feel bad because like an idiot I didn't make him show me what he was doing. Halloween was hectic and crazy at his parents house. We were trying to get the kids dressed, dealing with family, a dog, and the doorbell ringing. UGH!

I don't know it sucks because we have lost something that was such a HUGE event.... but then again we can't beat ourselves up about it because there's not much we can do about it now...stupid parents.

Monday Getting Ready for Christmas

This is snow from the day before Thanksgiving. I took this picture standing at our front door. It was very pretty, but the temperatures were down in the 20's. Now it is 4 days later and it is in the 70's again...no wonder we were all sick over the holiday. Everyone is finally getting over the nasty cold. Lyanna is the last of us. She still has a little cough, but as always has been smiling and laughing. She is such a good baby.

We started putting out our Christmas decorations inside the house. We put the village up over the kitchen cabinets. It looks pretty. I love the warm cozy feeling that the decorations give the house...at least to me they do. Brad loves to put them all out too. He wore himself out yesterday finishing the outside.

Mushy thanks God stuff today....

It's the day after Thanksgiving and I realize that I didn't say anything about what I was thankful for yesterday..duh. I am so thankful for my family. My husband and my two girls and my extended. Never in a million years did I think I would ever be so blessed in my life.

On my 30th birthday I was just divorced, just finding my own place, starting a new career... I was a mess. I thought I was going to be the old single woman with 50 cats that all the kids in the neighborhood were scared of. That I was going to be single forever...

It took me 3 years of dating before Brad and I found each other. Even when he is driving me nuts I think how much I love him.

I am thankful that God brought him into my life, that we have two healthy babies, and that he has blessed us with the means to live a comfortable life. I try not to take anything for granted anymore.

So thanks God, I appreciate everything you have done for me and blessed me with!

Mushy...bleh....

Thanksgiving 2005

Well, it's another Thanksgiving. We are staying in Ohio again this year. It makes sense for us to do, we spend TG here and then go to Arkansas for Christmas. Doesn't mean that it's always easy for me. I was cleaning up Kenzie's breakfast, listening to the preperations on TV for the parade and thinking about what would be going on at "home".

I can see my mom up and working on getting the turkey in the oven. My dad helping out with making sure the bird is stuffed right. My brother (who lives next door) coming in like Kramer and getting a cup of coffee before he leaves to go to his in-laws.

I miss my family and those things.

Introductions, I suppose, are needed

This is me and my husband, Brad. We are standing at "The Old Mill" in North Little Rock, Arkansas. This is where we were married in April of 2003.

I am a 35 year old mom of two. I grew up in rural Arkansas. My parents were both teachers and I followed in their footsteps. I have two younger brothers (identical twins). We are all very close to each other which is kind of strange these days.

I'll tell more about myself I'm sure as I write.