Friday, December 02, 2005

Losing it Mom Style

I totally lost it today. I don't know if I am PMSing, or this is part of my post partem problems or what the hell it is. Brad came home from work and I was just not being nice. The babies were driving me crazy. Kenzie is so sick and congested and needy and then Lyanna would not lay down, she wanted to be held continuously. I was tired of having babies clinging to me all day and I was sick of kids shows on t.v. I didn't want to take care of babies anymore today, I just wanted to go and hide out and not hear anything that had to do with babies, or kids. I didn't want to change another diaper, I didn't want to pop out the boob again. I just wanted to be by myself.

I'm still feeling real anxious, tense, flighty. It's weird...cause I can tell when I'm doing it but I have a hard time stopping how I'm acting. I think I need a mom break. The last time I got out of the house without kids was three weeks ago?????? No wonder I'm freaking out. I need a break. It's hard though cause Lyanna still breast feeds and she gets real cranky sometimes if you try to feed her with a bottle. Being a mom is hard work...I don't care what anyone says. If they say it's easy they can kiss my ass. I think it's time to start weaning Lyanna to formula though. I think it will help me with my anxiety/hormone problems. AND it will allow me some more freedom than I already has sucked mostly. I love my babies and my husband sometimes they just drive me nuts. I'm glad the day is over.

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