Sunday, September 27, 2009

A New Beginning

My friend Leahe keeps asking me: "When are you going to blog again? I miss reading your stuff." So, I came back here and did some reading of my old posts. Even the post right before this one...I read them and I think to myself, "Who is that person?" I seem so angry in that last post...sheesh, it was only band-aids. I feel bad for my old self.

I knew that I was stressed out and suffering from high anxiety and panic attacks, but it's so very evident in my writing from then. I am still anxious alot of the time. I don't think I'll ever get over that...I don't know why I suffer from panic attacks and anxiety. I know I could probably find some drug that would help, but I HATE taking drugs. Most of the time they make me feel worse than better. AND..I don't really have time to keep switching up doses to find out what works for me. I still have two young children to take care of and a husband. Sometimes I even get some time to myself, and if I'm wigging out on medications none of those things are gonna happen.

Anyway, after reading and realizing that I do have a little more time now, I am going to give it a go again and see what happens. So, this is my new beginning and I hope that I am a little calmer and not such a crazy mom.

So..what is going on in my life now..let's see:

Kenzie is going to Montessori pre-school. She goes every afternoon now for 2 1/2 hours. It was an adjustment for her to go everyday. She gets moody and says she just wants to stay home with me and hang out sometimes. She is learning so much though. She knows how to write her name, spell her name in sign-language, the days of the week...and other things that just pop out. It is unbelievable how much she learns and how fast. She is totally obsessed with horses now. She is dying to take riding lessons and we'll see what happens by the end of this year.

Lyanna goes to daycare MWF for around 5 hours each time. She loves it, but they mostly play. She is getting so big and is all about Sleeping Beauty. She would wear her Sleeping Beauty dress 24/7 if I would let her.

The schedule is a little weird now, but we are getting used to it. It does give me one-on-one time with each of them.

They are taking dance class on Tuesdays and Gymnastics on Thursdays. We may change the Thursday time though. I feel like we are running around too much and not spending enough evenings at home together. I enjoy my time with them so much more now. I wish I could have been calmer when they were babies and enjoyed that time more...sometimes I wish I could have a do over.

I am hanging out with my friends. Not doing too much with my MoMs Club anymore. Now that Kenzie is going to school it's hard to go to the functions. I've made some good friends out of the group though and we do alot of things on our own now. I've also joined MoPs now too. It is "Moms of Preschoolers". It seems like it will be a nice group of new women to meet. It is a christian based support group for moms. We meet and have discussion groups on different topics.

Hmmm....other updates..
Had an awesome birthday party for the girls this year. 36 little girls and boys dressed up as princesses, fairies and knights. Brad and I built a castle facade and the kids LOVED it. Had a surprise party this past Friday night for Brad's 40th birthday. He was totally surprised and loved his night with plenty of friends and family.

I worked in the yard today. Planted pansys and mums and weeded the flower beds. I need to plant some bulbs from this spring, maybe I'll do that tomorrow while both girls at school.

I'd love to know who drops by to read. Send me a note and tell me howdy!


Lana said...

I'm still around cuz. :) You're on my google reader. Glad you're back to blogging.

I think everyone would like a do over on some parts of the younger years of kids. I know there are many days when I wish I could start over with a bucket of patience rather than a thimble. Such is life. Learn from each day and enjoy it as much as you can, right?

I'm really looking forward to seeing y'all next weekend!

Bernie said...

Good to see you back in the blog world. Keep writing.

elizinashe said...

YEA!! You're here!! Love the new blog page look!! Groovy,man! You don't have to tell me about anxiety! Sheesh! I get overwhelmed all too easy! But somehow I work through it all just like you. I'm always a phone call away and there are plenty of shoes to throw at the door! ;)
I love you!