It has officially been too long since we had a full week of school for the girls. They were whiny and grouchy all day today. Well, maybe not all day but for a lot of the day.

We have all been around each other for too long for too many days!

The thing is we won't have a full week this next week either. Taking a short little vacation this coming weekend. So...another broken up week. I just hope the vacation is a recharge for all of us.

The sun has been out for the past two days which is excellent! I need my sunshine, I guess God got the message that I sent out about sending the sun and "86ing" the snow! Yay!

Lyanna and I took a nice long walk in the park yesterday to soak up some of that sun. It was so nice to just be with her alone and to see her explore things on her own without Kenzie there to influence what she does.

Yesterday was one year since my grandfather passed away.  My brother called me and asked if I had called my grandma. I said noooo, why?  Was she sick? Then he lays the guilt on and says today is the day Grandaddy died a year ago.  Well crap, I think... Now she'll think I don't care or something.  BUT, I am not gona fall victim to that guilt!! I didn't remember.  I don't keep up with those dates: dates when someone dies.  I see no need to remind myself of such a sad day.  A day when someone I loved so much left for someplace better.  I'd rather just remember good times I made with them, no matter the date.  

I did think how amazing.... I had no idea and my grandfather had been with me so many times throughout the day.

I couldn't sleep very well last night so I went back in time and read through a lot of my old posts on this blog.  I can't believe how much is on here about the girls!  I loved reading back about what they were doing.
I decided if anything else this blog is a good place for me to keep a record of the little things about them as they are growing up.  (and some funny things about myself as well).
We are having an early spring this year.  Our winter was pretty much non-existent.  One good snow, and it was during our trip to Disney World!  I am NOT complaining.  I don't like the winters here at all. I do love the other 9 months of the year in Ohio though.  We spent all afternoon Sunday outside.
Brad cleaned up the pond.  The pond is officially 8 year old!  It has been out there before Kenzie was born! He got it running smoothly again and it looks like it did when he first put it in.
I cleaned up the dogs back yard *picked up poo*, dug around in the flower beds some, and played with
the girls and the big doggies.

Change

People tell me that "change is good".  I believe them..most of the time.  Recently, I'm not so sure.  We are going through some HUGE changes around the Smith household right now.

We are renovating the house.  Mostly cosmetic except for the kitchen. The kitchen is going to be completely new. New floor, new cabinets, new appliances..everything in it will be new. The rest of the house is mostly paint, new floors, and some lighting.  BUT...there has been a lot of demo around here. 

The four of us are living in the basement.  I am cooking on our outside grill and using our bar as my pantry. I have a college size fridge to use for our cold stuff.  We have garment racks for our clothes, and we are sleeping on mattresses on the floor down here.  It's a little overwhelming to say the least.  I'm ready to have something completed!

The girls have also changed schools this fall.  We moved them from the private Catholic school to the public school.  Lyanna is fabulous. You could put that girl just about anywhere and she would be fine.  Kenzie is a little more apprehensive.  She is my worrier and it takes her a little longer to acclimate.  The house being so messed up probably isn't helping her much.  They seemed to be doing better yesterday. 

Both girls came out of class smiling and happy and telling stories about what had gone on that day.  I think it might be harder on me switching schools than them.  I am missing my mom friends that I would hang out with at the other school.  I DO have mom friends at the new school, but you know just like the girls, I have to build on those friendships. It takes a little time and patience.

I am going to start trying to write some everyday again.  I have looked back and seen all the little things that I wrote about the girls.  Just the little day to day incidents that make me smile now to remember.  I want to capture that again before they get too old.  I feel like by not writing I've missed a whole bunch of things. 

Wish me luck with all this change!!

It has definitely been longer than a week. I need to make a stronger effort to write. It seems I only get the time to write on my iPad now and typing on this thing is a pain!

I shall try to make it work.

It is Sunday and I believe this used to be "Poetry" day. I have not written anything creative in so long. I start things in my head but never committ them to paper.

Something else I need to work on as well!
Let 's see what is going on in my life? We are taking the girls to Disney Worldvsoon. Should be lots of fun, right? It is but it is stressful too. Lots of activity and Brad usually wants to keep going when the rest of us are ready for a break. He usuallynneeds one too he just doesn't realize he is tired too. We hadvavBLAST last time though!
Brad and I are starting the process of looking for some land to build our own home. We have decided that we ARE going to stay here awhile.(duh!) although we have put a lot of work into this house we realize that it is never going to be what we really want SO, we are going to build what we want. Scary endeavor we are starting!
I'm done for now! Hopefully, I'll be back here soon.

CAN NOT WAIT!

New Year, New Beginning?

It's a new year and I'm going to try and make a new go of it here on my blog. I am pledging to write at least three times a week. I hope that I will do better than that. I have come a long way in a year; the last time I posted. I don't think I am "lost" anymore. I am reading again. I have even been invited to join two different book clubs.
My friendships have become a little deeper and I don't feel so alone here anymore. 
That's as far as I got with the first attempt.... Maybe I'll do better as I go.

Are you a "Lost Mom"?

I am coining a new phrase: "Lost Mom". Definition: A mom who has lost that which made her "her" due to the daily demands of motherhood.

I think I am a Lost Mom. I think all the time about what I would like to do and wonder why I don't do it anymore...and then I go back to doing whatever it is I was doing before I had the thought. And if you understood that, then kudos to you!

I feel like that I am ONLY known as a mom now. Kenzie and Lyanna's mom: that's me. What happened to all the other things that used to define who I was? I have so many interests, so many things I'd like to be doing. I just don't seem to be able to make the time to do them. I always have to put my kids, my husband, my pets and anybody or anything else before myself and my needs.

I wonder sometimes what am I passionate about now? I mean, besides my family? When the girls are both going to school full days next year how am I going to spend my days. I don't want to be doing the drugery housework all the time. Sure, I could do laundry, vacuum everyday, clean the bathrooms, bake, clean up the house....but not everyday all the time. I know I will be volunteering at school and doing things for the girls. But honestly, I don't want that to be my whole life. I want to have other things to do besides those.

I am trying to develop new hobbies/interests. I was taking a tap dance class. Not anymore....
I am taking riding lessons and I LOVE it! I know Kenzie and I should be spending more time with it, but we are not able to do so. There isn't any time for those things because I have to take kids to school, make breakfasts, pick kids up, take dogs out, take dogs in, feed dogs, feed cats, make lunches, drive kids around, go to dance class, go to girl scouts, go to doctors appointments, make dinners, give baths, do laundry, make beds, drive kids around more, ...etc... It is never ending. I know I could squeeze some "me" time in there somewhere, but it's just so much easier to just give in and put myself last.

I have a hard time finding me around the house. Where are the things that show my personality in our home? I have some of my unicorns on my dresser. (I really like fantasy & collected unicorns since I was a little girl) There are a few pictures hanging up that were mine from before our marriage. My teapot collection is in our kitchen. My doll cabinet is in our parlour.... but sometimes I really feel like I'm not here...

What were the things that made me "Me" before kids? What WAS I passionate about?

READING! I read voraciously....three or four books at a time. I AM doing more of that now, and I do make time for it, but I feel guilty about it alot of the time. What did I read? Fantasy, Horror, Classics (I was an English major and teacher), Mythology, Science Fiction. Those were my favorite genres. I read a large group of authors. I would go to the library or the book store and just browse the shelf and pick up or buy whatever caught my interest. I could spend hours getting lost in the books. I also read comics. Lots of Marvel: X-men, Fantastic Four, Daredevil, Wolverine...most of the other X books. I read a lot of graphic novels too. Gave that up(comics), but have wandered into the local comic book store here a few times. I just don't know where to begin now... I loved having my favorite books around me. I had three or four different bookshelves with all my books. There is one bookshelf here....it is packed three books deep and it's not much. Most of my books are out in our barn..with my other stuff. I can't wait to get some shelves built in our house so I can bring them in and rescue them from storage!! It's like having friends right next door but you aren't allowed to talk to them anymore.

FANTASY! Before I moved away I had a lot of fantasy type artwork and just things in my home. Picture in my home like Waterhouse's "The Lady of Shalott". I had other prints like "St. George and the Dragon", "The White Girl", ...I had two very old prints that had come from my great aunt's plantation that were very Greek temple looking, had a mythological feel to them. I had strange little nic nacs like fairies, unicorns, dragons, little carved boxes and vases...it was just a certain "feel" to the place that is totally gone now. Maybe that seems kind of strange to some of you, but they were things that I had collected over the years or that people had given to me as gifts. Very eclectic, but very "me". I am such a wierdo geeky nerd! I laugh at myself about it though. Fits in with the reading genres, comics and my movie preferences as well.

WRITING! Before kids, I wrote almost everyday. I mean really, everyday. I started journaling when I was twelve. I have tons of things I have written. I have just boring 'this was my day today' stuff and then I have stories, and poems, and essays. Now, I'm doing well to write in this blog once a week! but I am writing in it again....and that's better than not writing at all! It's just so hard to find the time to sit down and collect my thoughts and write. (I am writing this at midnight after everyone else has gone to bed) I miss writing so much. I wrote every night before going to bed. It might not have been anything more than a paragraph, but it always helped me to shut down my thoughts for the night so I could sleep. I think that's why I have such a hard time with insomnia now. I have too many thoughts still running around that should be down on paper.

I used to love to go exploring the crazy old junk stores, antique stores, and second hand stores. Alot of the cool things I had were "found" treasures. I like old things, vintage clothing, old furniture.... I miss my old furniture. We have some really nice antique pieces here in our home that were passed down to us. I love them too. I just miss having that time to go explore. It will come again I know...I'm just being impatient.

I used to watch t.v. shows. Now, by the time I get the kids in bed and get back downstairs, the shows I want to watch are over, Brad wants to watch a movie, or just go to bed. One of the problems is, he doesn't like the same kind of shows I do. I'm not sure what kind of shows he does like. We were getting series on Netflix to watch and the only one we ever finished was the Sopranos. We started 24 but we both decided at Season 7? that we were done with that one. We were watching Lost but stopped when they went back to civilization. Can't get him to watch anymore. We started watching Heroes but he lost interest in that too. Tried to watch "V"..nope, watched True Blood, nope. Have tried to get him to watch American Idol..nope, Glee..nope, Arrested Development..nope. He says everything is stupid...and I wonder where Kenzie gets that phrase....duh! I loved watching "adult" cartoonslike South Park, King of the Hill, The Simpsons.... He can't stand them. It's so frustratingly difficult to find some common ground. I suppose I could DVR the shows I wanted to watch but then when am I supposed to watch them? And what fun is it to watch something by yourself and not have anyone to talk with about what you just watched...ugh!

I used to love to cook. I'm not even going into that one....

I also used to cross stitch and just do some crafty type stuff now and then. It's just hard to do that kind of stuff with the girls around. They are just too curious and want to get into everything.

I was a teacher before moving to Ohio. I taught English Grammar and Literature. I've also taught classes in Creative Writing and Classical Mythology. I loved teaching, I loved my kids. I miss being in the classroom. I taught for almost 6 years and during that time I taught different age groups. 12th grade one year, 11th grade two years, 9th grade one year, 7th and 8th for 4 years. I loved the middle school age kids the best. They were old enought to grasp some adult concepts and still young enough to do "fun" stuff. I suppose I could always go back to teaching, but I'm just not sure I want to have to deal with all the other things that go with teaching. If I could just go in the classroom and do the teaching I'd do it in a heartbeat. It's all the other junk you have to deal with that I don't want again. I'm pretty positive that I WILL sign up to substitute. It's not really the same, but it would still be something close.

I don't know, as the girls get older and begin to be more independant I'm sure I will "find" part of myself again. It's just so hard sometimes to be on "hold".

Fort Rapids and Disney!

Sorry no poetry today!

Took the girls on a weekend adventure. We left Friday around noon (the girls had a snow day) for Columbus. Brad and I had booked a room at the indoor water park called Fort Rapids. We had spent a good wile of Thursday evening reading the reviews on this water ranch and we were a little apprehensive about what we might find. The reviews were overall good, but there were a few that made us nervous. Tales of bedbugs, poor service, rude guests, run down atmosphere, and bad food....but we were keeping a positive outlook.

We got there, checked in, and Brad went to scope out the room. Came back and told us that everything was fine, and it was. The lobby looked like a western style lodge: lots of wood, a huge fireplace, western style pictures on the walls. The staff was extremely friendly and we got up to our room with no problems. Changed clothes and hit the water park.

It was perfect for the kids! There was a kiddie pool with games and slides that the girls spent most of their time wading around in. In the middle was this big tower thing that had stairs all around, lots of spraying water, slides of all shapes and sizes, rope bridges....it was really cool. There was also a lazy river and then the big kid slides.

We stayed til around 5pm and then went upstairs to get changed. The girls didn't know it but we had also gotten tickets for Disney on Ice "Princess Classics". I had packed their princess dresses so they could be their favorite princesses for the show. Lyanna is always Sleeping Beauty and Kenzie is Belle.

They were so excited and the show was great! We have been to two other Disney on Ice shows and this was the best one by far. The skaters were very good and the props, scenes and music and lighting was awesome.

An absolutely wonderful way to spend a freezing Friday night in Ohio. Went back to Fort Rapids, had a late night dinner in the dining room and went to bed. (Very uneventful) The only complaint we really had was the kids the next morning running around in the hallways who woke us up. But that wasn't the hotels fault, that was some poor parenting on someone's part.

Spent the next day back at the water park. It was 16 degrees out side and we were having a ball in the water! Poor Kenzie got stuck in one of the tubes and had to be rescued by one of the lifeguards but other than that the girls had a lot of fun. Lyanna did NOT want to leave.

I'm glad we went, we were not disappointed at all. It made for a great wintry get away close to home.

Snow & Movies

What is going on in Hollywood these days? It seems to me that the studios today are going for quantity and not quality. They suck in the masses with their flashy previews full of promises of great action, high drama, suspense...and then fail to deliver the goods.
I swear I am so sick of sitting down to watch a movie and then half way through being so disappointed that it doesn't even bother me to turn it off and go do something else.
Now not all of today's movies are that bad. There are some that still make the movie experience worthwhile. Some people may not agree with my opinions, but I think I have pretty good taste in what is or isn't a good movie.
When I sit down to watch a movie I want to escape. I want to be taken away and fall into the story. I want to get so involved in the story that I forget that I'm sitting in a movie theater or in my basement at home. Not many movies today do that for me.

What has gotten me on this rant tonight? Just finished watching "The Sorcerer's Apprentice" with Kenzie and Brad. Cool concept, terrible movie. The main character "Dave" was painful to watch. He was such a whiner you could hardly understand him...and Nick Cage...what a waste of a good actor. I like the funny Nick Cage, not the action Nick Cage. I could watch Raising Arizona a million times, but this movie...not his finest at all. There was some cool special effects but honestly that was about it. BLeh....capitalizing on a Disney classic cartoon and taking what could have been a really cool story and just letting it fall flat. BUT..I'm sure the studio got their money.

Now, on the other hand I watched another movie with the girls the other day that I really liked. "Percy Jackson and the Olympians. The Lightening Theif" Since I was watching it with the girls, there were several times I was interrupted or had to get up and pause the movie. Even with those interruptions I was engrossed in the story. The actors were decent, even a cameo by Uma Thurman. It was cute and entertaining. I want to watch it again without the girls.

I don't know...maybe I'm being to harsh.

On another note: It snowed pretty heavily today. I bet we got around 5 inches. Went outside around 10pm to take a walk down my street. It was absolutely gorgeous out. God is such a wonderful artist. I don't care how annoying snow can be, it is still so very beautiful.

An Old Story and Catching Up for the Week.

Well, I was doing really well. Posted 3 days in a row and then it hit me...the January we got too much snow on the ground and I been in the house with my kids for four days in a row blues. Just got a case of the winter blahs. They come and go with me. I just need a good long day in the sunshine.

Everyone is better now. No more sickness. We had a good time during our sick days even though we were cooped up for almost a whole week. I love sledding down our hill. I wish I could get some of our friends to come over and sled with us. The only issue is making sure you don't go too far and into the woods over the drop off.

In the spirit of keeping up, since I missed Flashback Friday, I am going to attach a previous post here because I think some of you would enjoy this story I wrote. It is pretty funny and if you haven't read it READ IT, and if you have READ IT AGAIN! Ha!!

BATS: Part 1

Just a Monday

Have had two bouts of sickness this weekend. Friday night Lyanna was up til 4am losing it out both ends. Lovely... Last night Kenzie came into our room around 2am crying and saying she had a bad dream. I let her get in bed with me and she was burning up. Took her temp and it was 103.4. Poor thing, no wonder she had a bad dream. Gave her some Motrin and a cool washcloth for her forehead and lay down with her.
Her temp went down but ended up getting up and rocking for a while and telling a new story about "Mittens" the six toed cat. I think I got to sleep around 4 am again, but in Kenzie's bed so it wasn't all that great.
There was no school today so Kenz didn't have to miss a day of school. My wonderful friend Crysta took Lyanna to Mc Germ World for lunch with her little boy and some of our other mom friends. I was so thankful because Lyanna needed to get out of the house and play some.
Other than that..went to the grocery store. Big exciting day.


Now, watching the National Championship Game. Have to root for the SEC. Go Auburn!! That will be one of the only times you will ever hear me say that.

How many glowsticks do you think Oregon goes through? I really dig their neon green. Is there anyone else that uses that as a color besides Oregon and Seattle?

Poetry Sunday

Playing Just Dance 2 with my girls and Brad...well Brad did one dance with us.

I am sweating...Body Movin' (Fat Boy Slim mix) kicks my booty!
We are having fun though. Girls don't have school tomorrow for a teacher work day so I told them we would stay up and play. They crack me up playing this.

Today is supposed to be poetry Sunday..so I suppose I should blog something poetic. Haven't really got anything new, but have some things running around in my head.

It has to do with going home and all the feelings associated with that experience. Not just going home to family but going to where you grew up and seeing people you grew up with and going places you went to and how it makes you feel now...now that you are older and have been away for a long time.

What is it about going home?
That something that creeps
into your conscious again.
That something that brings
back old feelings.
Nostalgia isn't right,
it's not that easy
it's not that nice.
Not always.


Well that is a start...

Had a good day today. Got up and went to church, then to our favorite Mexican restaurant for lunch. Came home and worked on getting rid of old stuff and making way for the new. I have decided that we desperately need a play room. There are justs too much toys for the girls now and I'm tired of my living room being a catastrophe! So..I see bunk beds and a shared room in the girls' future!!

What I Am Planning..and some other stuffage

I've been reading through this blog and refreshing my memory on what I had been doing before. There are a couple of things I'd like to start doing again.

1. Flashback Friday
2. Poetry Sunday
3. Food Thursday

At least that will give me three solid topics to write about on those days. Maybe. Ha! I seem to have a bad record of not keeping up with what I say I want to do....best laid plans and all.

Watching the playoff games with Brad. We put up all the Christmas decorations today. Got it all boxed up and ready to go to the barn. Taking it to the barn is gonna have to wait though. Brad can't get it down there til the snow melts. We got our second really good snow last night and today. Here is a video of the "white out".



Lyanna was sick last night. I was up with her til around 4 am. She was having issues at both ends. It was not pretty at all! So...we did not go out and play today. We had a nice crazy day inside!

I have alot of things I want to write about. I'm gonna try and list them so I don't forget. Maybe I'll get to all of them this year.

1. My trip home at Christmas
2. Our cruise to Jamaica/Gran Cayman
3. Following the Scorps this past summer
4. Being 40 for six months!

I think I'm done for tonight. Gonna watch the game some and put the girls to bed!

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year: 2011!
So far it has been kinda bleh. Gotta talk about my Arkansas Razorbacks.

Arkansas played Ohio State in the Sugar Bowl this year. It was Arkansas' first BCS bowl. Needless to say Brad and I were really excited about the game. Brad even went down to New Orleans for the game. Unfortunately, I had to stay up here in Ohio with the girls. We didn't have anyone for them to stay with and they had school anyway...so I was stuck.
I'm sort of glad that I didn't get to go now.

The game was a heartbreaker.

The Buckeyes definitely had our number in the 1st half. We couldn't catch a ball, we couldn't get a pass off...their defense was on us. I was questioning what team Coach Petrino had brought to the Big Easy. It sure didn't look like the team I had watched TrOmP all over LSU.
But the 2nd half was so much better. Our defense finally showed up. We had the game won. Over a minute left and we had the ball. .....then Mallet threw an interception. UGH!!! Game over!! It was sickening to watch.

I wouldn't feel so upset about it if we lost with a bad team. Arkansas has had some really crappy teams in the past years. But this team was doing so well! There was no reason we couldn't have beaten Ohio. It hurt to know that people all over the US were watching that game and seeing the poor performance of our team. That just wasn't us. I've never seen so many dropped passes! Excruciating!
I'm wondering if the guys all went out on Bourbon St. that day or something...

Most of our friends up here have been pretty decent about our loss so far. I am trying to just not talk about it too much. Ugh!!

No matter what, I love my home state. I love my Razorbacks. I know we can do it again next year and we can WIN!

A Little Bit

It's getting to be more of an enjoyment again. I am starting to feel the urge to write. Maybe it's the sunshine making me feel better, I dunno.

My uncle that I talked about last time passed away that Friday evening. He lived a great life. Was in full control of himself and had all his marbles when he passed. (Although some would question that later, we did call him "crazy Uncle Joe") We all loved him so much and he will be missed.

The girls and I went to a farm today. They loved it! We saw all kinds of chickens, goats, horses, cats, dogs, rabbits.... They got to hold a just layed egg in their hands and feel how warm it was from the momma chicken. Kenzie got to pet horses, which is her most favorite thing in the world. It was so cute the way this one horse really took to her. He came right up to her and gave her kisses. She was in horse heaven. I have got to get her started on some riding lessons.

Not much else to discuss today. Gonna try dying eggs for the first time this year, and we are going to try and make some Panoramic sugar eggs as well..we'll see how they all turn out. I'll try to get pictures.

3 Stages

Today has been a strange day.
Three things going on in my life today. All of them centered around hospitals.

Brad hurt his knee about a month ago. Never knew what he really did or when exactly, just woke up the day after our Mardi Gras party and couldn't walk. Ended up he had a torn miniscus...had to have outpatient surgery today to take care of it. He was not too thrilled about the whole situation, but he was very brave. The operation went well (so the doc says) and he is doing a fine job of recuperating on the living room couch.

Brad's brother is having his first child today. They scheduled an induction for today. We still haven't heard anything about the birth...keeping our fingers crossed that everything goes well. I am of course worried because of my expierence with induction. I went through the same procedure when I had Kenzie and I almost bled to death. I fully believe that it was because I was induced. So..I am not for it AT ALL! One of those "If I'da known then what I know now" kind of things. (Just heard that new nephew was born at 3:30 this afternoon. YAY!)

Last of all, my great uncle is in the hospital in Little Rock. He fell the other day and cracked his skull. He has internal bleeding and has pretty much been non-responsive and in a coma like state since it happened. He is 93 years old and has had a GREAT life and when he passes, because it is going to happen within the next 24 hours or so, he will go before he became unable to care for himself in his own home, which was about to happen. So....it is not a totally sad occasion. What IS sad is that his wife who is 93 as well, is in the hospital with a broken hip. She is in a totally different town than he is in, and I fear that she will not be able to say goodbye to her husband...that upsets me. I would so want to be with Brad if ever in the same situation. I just feel so bad for my Aunt and my family for being in such an impossible situation.

So...new life, middle life adapting to aging and old life passing on.

Like I said, just a strange day for me.

I'm sticking with Blue

I am wearing blue eyeshadow today. And it's sparkly! Now some of you wouldn't think that was anything out of the ordinary. So what, who cares what color eyeshadow you wear. Well, a lot of folks would say that blue is soooo 80's. They wouldn't be caught dead wearing blue.

I don't care. I say bring back the 80's! Bring back the blue eyeshadow!
Bring back the mile high bangs!
Bring back the bow heads, the skaters, the preppies!
The flourescent colors are back, why not the bold Wham! style word tees, the cut up sweats, the tight rolled jeans!
I want to see bandanas wrapped around legs!
I want to see prairie skirts, puffy sleeves, and feathered bangs!
I want to see boat shoes, and penny loafers!
I want to see extremely fat people wearing spandex bike shorts!
And I want to see girls wearing jellies!
Bring it all back!!

I'm not scared!

I'm just saying...I like my blue eyeshadow.

I got the I don't want to write Blue's

My friend contacted me over Facebook today and wanted to know when I was going to start blogging again. I told her I didn't know. I wasn't enjoying writing anymore right now. It doesn't bring me the joy that it used to bring. I can't really explain it to anyone. I like to write and I miss it, but the effort it takes to work writing into my daily madness of children, snow, dogs, dinners, taxiing, exercise, cleaning, and whatever else happens to pop up just seems too much.

I am writing now because I have already given my children a bath, cooked dinner, done the dishes, and my husband is "out with the boys".

Writing has always been cathartic for me. It helps me get my thoughts and feelings in line. Maybe that's one of the reasons my anxiety levels have increased over the past year instead of decreasing. (among other things) When you take a majority of what you enjoy doing out of your life it would stand to reason that your sanity would be a little off kilter. (Not saying that I'm crazy, but I AM a little crazy.....isn't that part of my blog's title? HA!)

So, Here I am writing. Let's see if I can do it on a regular basis and let's see if it helps me out at all.

The thing that is most on my mind tonight. Snow. I hate it right now. I used to think snow was pretty cool. Not so much anymore. I can not tell you the last time my youngest child went to pre-school. We have had so many snow days now I think we will be going to school til July. It wouldn't be so bad if there was something to do here, or somewhere to go. I could take the girls to the mall to play or to the indoor play area at McD's. The only problem with those places is that they are germ havens. Everytime we have gone to either place one of the girls has ended up puking her guts out that night or the next day. I really don't want to deal with that.

We have sledded, walked, had snowball fights, and made snow angels. The thrill is gone. It is beautiful, I will give it that. I'm just over it now, and need some distance. I think if it didn't snow again until next December I would be okay then.

I have cabin fever and I'm sick of having the kids here all day. They are driving me and each other crazy and I know I make them crazy too. I want my schedule back!!! And sunshine, I'd like some sunshine please! I'm putting in my order to God right now. An order of sunshine and temperatures above freezing on the fly! Let's 86 snow for the season.....

Swine Flu, Halloween and other Spooky Things

We have had an eventful week this past week. Lyanna came home from church last week and went right to bed with 102 degree fever. Welcome to the swine flu in Ohio... She ran fever for 5 days straight. It peaked on Thursday...up to 104.5 or so had to put her in a cold tub and cool her off. It's sad when you are happy your kids temp is 102. After the bath her temp came down to normal and then stayed that way. Thank goodness! Swine flu is rampant here in our town. It seems to give the kids fever and a cough for 5-7 days. Some of the kids are getting over the flu to end up with pneumonia. Luckily we didn't get that!

She got well just in time for Halloween night. She did miss her school party and family night, but we just didn't talk about it.

We had our 2nd annual Halloween party Friday night. It was a lot of fun. I was sort of a Elvira type character and Brad was a Pimp Daddy. We had about 36 folks over and had a great time.

Since the Lyanna had been sick and Kenzie got scared walking around the town last year we took the girls trick-or-treating at the mall. That was great! You just walk around the mall and all the stores have someone sitting out frong and passing out candy. There were no scary peeps and the kids had a good time.

Had Monday Night Football at our house tonight. My fantasy team sucks so badly this year. I can't win..no matter what I do... I can't win. It's pathetic.. I've been playing for seven years and this is the worst year I've ever had. BLEH!!!!